Self-image and spirituality

We have often heard that self-image and self-confidence are just the world's substitute for trusting God. News flash: it's not true.

Yes, self-confidence can be misused as a very poor substitute for faith. But there's much more to it than that. How can a young lady trust God when deep down, she is privately convinced that she is simply not worth being loved by God or anyone else? What good does it do to tell a young man to trust God when, in the deepest recesses of his soul, he senses that he is rejected and valueless? How can I trust God to take care of me if I'm privately certain that I'm simply not worth being taken care of?

I don't know if this has been prevalent throughout church history, but it's a real problem in today's church. While I am not a great fan of a lot of contemporary Christian music, CCM is often more in touch with the Christian world today than many churches are. They have to be, in order to write and perform music that resonates with Christians, especially young Christians. And there is a lot of CCM that talks about struggling with feelings of worthlessness and being unloved.

There's a girl in the corner 

With tear stains on her eyes 

From the places she's wandered 

And the shame she can't hide 

She says, "How did I get here? 

I'm not who I once was. 

And I'm crippled by the fear 

That I've fallen too far to love" 

Well she tries to believe it 

That she's been given new life 

But she can't shake the feeling 

That it's not true tonight 

She knows all the answers 

And she's rehearsed all the lines 

And so she'll try to do better 

But then she's too weak to try 

     from "You Are More" by Tenth Avenue North

Setting aside the anecdotes and lyrics, though, is the idea of having a good self-image Scriptural? The fact is that Scripture warns us repeatedly against taking too high a view of ourselves. For example, one should not "think more highly of himself than he ought to" (Rom 12:3); "everyone who is proud in heart is an abomination to the LORD" (Prov 16:5). And there are many more such passages. Throughout history, the usual problem has been that people's self-image has been too inflated.

But there is another side to it. Romans 12:3 (quoted above) also tells us to "think [of ourselves] soberly." (The word "soberly" here means "realistically" or "honestly.") And Hebrews 11:6 says, "He who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him." So when a person's self-image makes it difficult to believe that God would reward them for seeking Him, that is a huge problem spiritually. I've recently come to realize that often people seeking God during altar services are struggling with issues related to their self-image.

If the best we have to offer is some platitude like "get your eyes off yourself and onto God," the battle is lost before it's begun. We are dealing with very deep issues here, and they take time. But there are ways to offer real help.

First, encourage the seeker to trust God in spite of their conviction that they aren't worth His help. It's hard, but it's possible. And that is where they have to start. God knows the struggle they are having deep in their soul, and He'll walk them through it step by step.

Second, work to create and maintain an atmosphere of acceptance and caring. Because, like it or not, God uses us. God communicates His love through you and me. That means that if we want people to experience God's love, we have to show that love in very practical ways. Frankly, that sounds more difficult - and more touchy-feely - than it is.

• It's just being genuinely connected with one another.

• It's actually listening to people.

• It's caring, and letting others know that you care.
• It's taking time to talk with the kid that no one hangs around.
• It's a text saying "I'm praying for you" to the friend who is going through a rough time.
• It doesn't have to be extensive or time-consuming, but it does have to be consistent and sincere.

Third, realize that you do not know who is in the middle of this struggle. It could be the shy withdrawn girl, or it could be the popular guy whom that everyone looks up to. That means we have to be there for everyone around us. And (surprise, surprise) that's exactly what Scripture says we should do anyway. It's called "fellowship," koinonia, sharing life. And it's how the Christian life is supposed to work every day.

Why the death of postmodernism is the opportunity of a lifetime.

Postmodernism is officially dead, and its passing presents one of the rare times in history when the culture is actively seeking what the church can offer.

After reading this article on the death of postmodernism, I began mulling over how the flow of culture has shaped the church. It occurred to me that the changing culture has presented the church with an opportunity it hasn't had for at least a century. (I also realized that the traditional conservative church is a modern entity. That may be a surprise - after all, we pride ourselves - with great humility, of course - on being "old-fashioned." But historically, "modern" refers to the age following the "medieval" age - in other words, about the 1500s or later, and the traditions held by today's conservative church are much more recent than that. But I digress.) A brief survey of the last 150ish years will help us understand today's church and the opportunity that we have.

The modern age is, by all understandings, an age of exploration and discovery, of understanding and applying principles.  This can certainly be seen in the arts - though the styles changed, up till about the mid 1800s most paintings were realistic representations of what can be seen around us, and they generally followed consistent rules of form, contrast, harmony, etc. A little later but similarly, American culture emphasized the idea of an ideal American family - Dad works to support the family, Mom stays home with the rambunctious but well-meaning kids, they live in a nice house in the suburbs, everything is always well-kept and orderly - the "American dream." (Think "Leave It To Beaver" or "Father Knows Best") In the mid-1800s, Charles Finney proposed "new measures" or principles for evangelism - get and hold people's attention by an energetic and entertaining preaching style, use the "anxious seat" or altar call to press for conversions, hold "protracted meetings," use music to involve the congregation and to set the mood for the service. His methods caught on and continue to be used today in many conservative church circles.

 In some circles, the idea of applying principles was taken to extremes. For example, "modern art" intentionally distorted the realistic element of art in order to emphasize the underlying principles of art - form, contrast, balance, flow, feeling, impression.  The church growth movement studied why some missions and churches grow while others don't in order to find the underlying principles of church growth. The application of these principles created the "mega-church" with membership in the thousands.

In the 1960s the hippie movement threw off traditional values and expectations, and by the 1970s postmodernism was in full swing. At its heart, postmodernism rejects any single overarching worldview and instead accepts all views as equally valid. This movement started early in the arts, and is seen in bringing together discordant or contradictory elements, such as Marcel Duchamp's "Fountain" (actually a urinal) or Andy Warhol's screen printings of Campbell's soup cans. In music, Madonna emphasizes the religious connotations of her name by wearing crucifixes while her music celebrates materialism and immorality. In the church world, postmodernism took two forms - extreme ecumenism advocates accepting all religions as equally valid, and the emergent church intentionally deconstructs the traditional understandings of church and replaces them with a wide variety of views and approaches.

But now with the death of postmodernism, we find ourselves in the post-postmodern world. And while it is difficult to discern a trend while it is still ongoing, the movement seems to be in the direction of authenticism. In opposition to the sterile principles of modernism and the gloomy confusion of postmodernism, authenticism searches for the real, the solid, the thing of genuine value. The movement has already impacted architecture, music and art. You can see authenticism in stores like Whole Foods or restaurants that specialize in fresh local produce. Even WalMart is in on the action with its "Good. Works." campaign that emphasizes its involvement in the local community.

Authenticism has affected the church in a number of ways, many or most of them positive.  There is an increased desire for fellowship - not just social events, but the genuine, deep, honest fellowship which is so vital in the NT picture of the church. The proliferation of small groups, accountability groups, discipleship groups - call them what you may - is one outgrowth of this desire.

There is also a growing dissatisfaction with the usual "methods" of doing church and a renewed interest in what the Bible actually teaches and how to apply it. Instead of simply holding to the traditional methods and understandings of church, we are examining ourselves and our traditions in light of Scripture. This is very different than the rebellion of the 1960s or the "deconstruction" of the emergent church. It's an honest examination of ourselves and our traditions in order to find and hold to those things that truly matter and let go of those things that are useless or even detrimental to the church. Even a few CHM churches, such as Victory Chapel in Indianapolis and OKC Bible Methodist in Oklahoma City, are consciously re-defining themselves in an attempt to better fulfill Christ's command to disciple all people.

Another welcome aspect of authenticism in church is an increased willingness to acknowledge and deal with the tough realities that people face. A growing number of pastors and youth leaders are addressing formerly taboo subjects like pornography, substance abuse, depression, marital problems, homosexuality and molestation. We are realizing that genuine Christianity works in the real, ugly world.

So the conservative church is returning to her Scriptural foundation to find authentic Christianity in the midst of all the traditions and approaches that she has inherited, and at the same time the world is engaged in a search for authenticity among the rubble of extreme modernism and postmodernism. God has brought us this incredible opportunity. Are we willing to examine ourselves and our churches in light of Scripture? Do we have the courage to live out Scripture even in the face of opposition? Do we dare to passionately embrace authentic Christianity and present it to a world desperate for authenticity? 

Understanding Satan's Schemes

The other day as I was reading my Bible, I was struck by this phrase in 2 Corinthians 2:8: "We are not ignorant of Satan's schemes." Two things about this sentence caught my attention. First, "not ignorant" suggests that we have some knowledge concerning Satan's ploys, though not necessarily thorough knowledge about every one of them. In other words, "we know the general way that Satan operates." Second, Paul does not say, "We are not ignorant of this scheme" (in the context, unforgiveness), but "of Satan's schemes," plural.  In other words, we are familiar with the type of weapon that Satan uses.

How can this be? Personally, I'm convinced that at least one reason is that Satan works primarily through existing conditions and weaknesses. I'm not saying that he never works supernaturally, but that Satan's usual method is to attack through existing means. James  1:14 describes temptation as being lured and enticed by one's own lust. Guess what? In this case, Satan doesn't even appear in the equation!  While in a general sense, temptation is certainly one of "Satan's schemes," he is simply neither powerful nor interested enough to be directly involved in the minor details of our lives. (On the other hand, our infinitely loving and powerful  God is!)

To be fair, the examples of Job, David, and Jesus all prove that Satan is at least sometimes directly involved in temptation. But even in these times, we see the attack directed toward existing fears, desires or tendencies. Job acknowledged, "That which I greatly feared has come upon me." Scholars generally agree that David's sin in taking a census of Israel was based on his desire for a strong military protection. And in tempting Jesus, Satan appealed to Jesus' hunger and human desire to avoid the pain of rejection and crucifixion. So even these are examples of Satan tempting through existing conditions.

Maybe this helps explain the numerous places in Scripture where we are warned to "watch yourselves" or to "pay attention to yourselves" in order to avoid turning away from God. The better we understand ourselves, the better prepared we are to resist Satan's devices. 

1. You can help guard against temptation by being realistic about your weaknesses. In fact, you probably already know where your weaknesses are - expect temptation in those areas.
2. Unexpected or especially recurring temptations generally have underlying causes. By understanding these causes, you can understand the temptation and thus be better prepared to handle it. For example, having a hard time standing up against negative peer pressure may stem from a strong desire to be accepted; self-centeredness may be fueled by a need to be respected. Recognizing that Satan's answers will never satisfy God-given desires can help you guard against temptation in whatever area you struggle.
3. Just saying "Satan's really tempting me" may be accurate (at least in a very general sense), but it does not help you find a way to handle the temptation. It directs your attention away from what you can control (yourself) and toward what you cannot control (Satan's activity). Instead, try praying that God will help you recognize what it is that makes this temptation especially strong for you.

 The ability to live the Christian life ultimately comes from Christ, not yourself. What I'm describing is a tool, not the whole workshop - but it's a tool that God has given us to use, that Scripture commands us to use, and that we overlook at our own peril.

Is Your Church Safe?

Throughout history, the church has been seen as a place of safety. In Medieval times, the church was a place where fugitives could flee to escape their pursuers. In more modern times, as the surrounding culture has become less and less Christian, holding biblical values and lifestyles has created a conservative sub-culture, a culture which attempts to isolate itself from many of the problems in the world around. Those who struggle with tough issues are sometimes seen as a threat to this culture, and they are encouraged (whether directly or indirectly) to hide their struggles from the church. And thus the church, instead of being a place of acceptance and healing, is seen as a place where one must outwardly conform or face criticism and rejection. So how do we change this perception?

1.     Face the fact that in many churches, this is a reality, not just a perception. You must prayerfully question whether you are part of the problem or part of the solution. Are you willing to truly be a safe person, and to make your church or youth group a safe place?

2.     Address tough issues. In public. From the pulpit. Yes, it may be uncomfortable, and you may get some fallout. But if you wanted a safe, comfortable career, you should have gone into accounting. On the other hand, if you want to make a difference in young people’s lives, then get ready to take some risks.

3.     Be empathetic. Making a crack about gays might get a response, but it also tells that young person in your congregation who is struggling with same-sex attraction that you are not interested in helping him.

4.     Keep confidences. Betraying a confidence demonstrates that you are an unfaithful minister and therefore not qualified to be a pastor (Prov. 11:31; 1 Cor. 4:2). On the other hand, there are times at which you must report what you know to the authorities: familiarize yourself with the mandatory reporting laws of your state or country, as well as the states or countries in which you minister. In these cases, let the young person know what and to whom you must report.

5.     Build relationships. Youth want transparency and authenticity: you’re not perfect, so stop pretending to be. Learn to LISTEN, not just plan what your next pastorly bit of wisdom will be.  And pleasepleaseplease never let the words “Just give it to God” pass your lips. Or any other trite bit of spiritual-sounding nonsense that we throw around so we can feel wise and pastor-ly. An honest “I don’t know” is far better than a mass-produced piece of plastic wisdom.

The good news is that young people—and adults—want and respond to honesty and genuine caring. If you build an environment where it’s OK to struggle and to be imperfect, then you will be in a position where God can truly use you to change lives.

Dealing with Differences

I just got back from a fantastic seminar with Stuart and Jill Briscoe, where I deeply benefitted from the ministry of this godly couple and fellowshipped with Christians from a variety of backgrounds. Which brings up a question: how do we, as believers who hold to conservative doctrine and lifestyle, interact with those who hold different doctrinal or lifestyle stands? I mean, they are obviously and probably intentionally opposing Scripture, aren't they? Or maybe they just aren't as spiritual as we are?

Umm…   [Awkward pause]

The issue became real for me when I was the sole conservative Wesleyan-Arminian attending an interdenominational seminary. There were a number of areas in which I disagreed with my teachers. For example, most if not all of my professors believed and taught that in the New Testament era, Sunday is a day of worship rather than a day of rest, and so there are no biblical restrictions on working on Sunday. In my understanding, the Old Testament restriction on working on the Sabbath is still in effect, since the New Testament never specifically abolishes it (as it does the food laws in Mark 7:19). We cannot both be right, so which of us is following the Bible and which is following man's rules?

Actually, that question is misleading. We are both following the Bible.

But how can that be, when the two views contradict one another?

To answer that, let's step back and look at the issue from a different angle.

Every Bible-believing Christian must start from the same point: absolute surrender to the authority of God's Word. The starting point has to be "I will obey the Bible" rather than "I will obey the Bible when I like what it tells me" or "I will obey the Bible when it says what I think it should." The extent to which we don't submit to Scripture is the same extent to which we are living by man's rules. (Living by your own rules is still living by man's rules, BTW. Assuming, of course, that you are human.)

When we are committed to living by Scripture, things get more interesting: we have to interpret what Scripture means. I don't mean that we try to find some strange or hidden meaning, but that we do our best to understand what it means and how it applies to me. This is where the differences come in, because we bring to Scripture our own unique viewpoints, emphases, theological backgrounds, and spiritual understanding. And we are influenced by the viewpoints, emphases, theology, and spiritual understanding of our friends, mentors, teachers, and pastors. So one who honestly believes that the Bible OK's Sunday work will be open to working on Sunday, while another who believes that the Bible restricts Sunday work will not. Both, though, are following the Bible to the best of their understanding. And the same thing applies to a wide range of life issues and theology.

So what's the right response? Wash our hands of the whole thing and say "Just do whatever you think you should. It's between you and God anyway"? That's a common response, but it's a cop-out. The underlying assumption of this view is that one interpretation is just as good as another, which suggests that no one really knows what the Bible means.

Or do we retreat back into our theological tradition? After all, if we are right, then everyone else has to be wrong, don't they? And who are we to disagree with [fill in the name of your favorite old-time saint]? But again, this response is a cop-out. It ignores the human (and therefore fallible) part of Bible interpretation. Whenever we take one interpretation as the ultimate interpretation that must never be questioned, we thereby exalt the human interpreter over God's Word. Which explains why this approach tends to ignore whatever bits of Scripture don't seem to fit its particular viewpoint.

So what do we do? The biblical answer is:

1. Be sure of your own interpretation.

How do you do this? First, pray for the Spirit's leadership. But recognize that the Spirit usually works through human means, so engage the best Bible teachers that you have access to. Actually listen in church (what a concept!). Find and read good books, like commentaries or devotional works. Not just the easy reads that make you feel good. Dig into the books that make you think about Scripture. Learn to love expositional preaching--the preaching that really explores and explains the Bible. Examine everything in the light of Scripture. Wrestle with the hard passages. Study until you are certain before God as to what Scripture teaches. And bathe the whole process in prayer. Paul's exhortation to the Romans concerning eating meat also applies to all of the Christian life: "Let every man be fully convinced in his own mind."

Sounds like work, doesn't it? Yep, it is. Anything worth doing takes work. Get used to it.

2. Follow Scripture wholeheartedly.

You'll find that there are multiple interpretations on almost every issue. Once you've realized that, the temptation is to just adopt the easiest interpretation, the interpretation that requires the least commitment, effort, or change. But that's not following Scripture--that’s using Scripture as an excuse to do what you want. What you must do is to study until you are as certain as you can be as to what the Bible teaches, then follow it. If it requires change, then change. If it means holding to what you already believe, get a bulldog grip on it and don't let go. First, last, and always, follow Scripture.

3. Proclaim Scripture boldly.

Jesus commanded us to go and teach all nations; Paul instructed Timothy (and us!) to preach the Word; Peter says that he who speaks must speak the words of God.  What we proclaim is not a fearful "Maybe this is what it means," but a bold "Thus saith the Lord!" We can boldly proclaim truth only after we have carefully, prayerfully come to understand Scripture.

4. Leave others to God.

Yet what we preach is, in fact, an interpretation of Scripture. A human act, fraught with human fallibility. Since I am human, it is certain that my understanding is wrong in some areas. So the boldness of proclamation must be wedded with personal humility. It is my job to proclaim (my best undestanding of) truth and to present convincing evidence for it. But it is not my job to try to enforce my interpretation or to unchristianize those whose own study leads them to disagree with me.

So what we do is to examine everything--including our own beliefs--by Scripture. We pray and depend on the Spirit to illuminate our understanding. We study. We preach, teach, and live the Bible according to our best understanding. We hold to what is biblical while rejecting what is unbiblical. At the same time, we understand that others will interpret Scripture differently, and we leave them with God. I will answer to God for how diligently I have studied, proclaimed, and followed Scripture. You will do the same. I'm enough for me to worry about. How about you?

Thursday Night

This past Thursday night was a life-changer. For me, and for a lot of other people. We were at Carolina Christian Youth Camp, and just before the service closed on Thursday evening, one of the adults gave the most honest and transparent testimony I have ever heard. He stood before about 200 people--most teenagers--and told of his struggle with pornography. He explained how he'd gotten involved with it, how he'd had to leave a ministry position because of it, and how he still had to deal with the effects and guard himself against the temptation. He ended by proclaiming "I'm not going to do it!" and asked those who would join him in that resolution regarding their own struggles to stand. One by one, young people began to stand and testify, many confessing their own weaknesses and failings. Some told of their own addiction to pornography. Some told of their struggles with bitterness over abusive fathers. Many simply stood and wept. Soon there were 70 or 80 young people at the front of the church, weeping out their brokenness before God. And the testimonies continued: struggles with addictions and cutting; anger at God for the death of family members; bitterness over physical and emotional abuse; the anguish of rape and molestation;  hopelessness, fear, rage, pain. The expression of agony was matched by an outpouring of grace: love, acceptance, shared tears, embraces, requests for  forgiveness. The whole thing was unexpected, messy, raw, uncontrolled, inappropriate… and amazing.

So now we're trying to get our heads around what happened. This blog post is part of my attempt to do just that. It's really easy to point out that it should have been handled differently, and it probably should. Much of what was shared would have been more appropriate in a smaller, gender-specific setting. There should have been an organized way of following up with the young people. There should have been counselors available to deal with the issues. There should have been lots of things. I suspect that there won't be any shortage of people saying this and more, and they have some good points. In the future I'm sure the camp leaders will be more prepared. I spent a few hours with them the next day, I listened to their hearts, and they are concerned with how to improve. How to be more effective and appropriate. But frankly, they are more concerned with helping young people than with maintaining their image. And I sure can't fault that.

In other words, I cannot blame the camp leaders for what happened.  For decades, the church--and not just the CHM--has created an atmosphere in which certain things are NOT to be discussed. The youth retreats, camps, and Youth Challenges that I have attended have pretty consistently done a presentation on sex, and the message is, "Don't do it." But I have never heard anyone talk about how to deal with addictions, what to do about being molested, where to turn if you're struggling with homosexuality, how to cope with pain so incredible that it overwhelms your entire life. We don't want to acknowledge that these things happen in our churches and homes, and so these topics are taboo. Off limits. And Thursday night, that taboo was shattered. It was messy, unorganized, and inappropriate. But if there is blame, the majority of it has to go to the churches and families that have created the taboo. We have not allowed our young people to openly deal with the garbage that has been dumped on them. We have given the impression, if not actually taught, that the important thing is to be "a good kid," and if you're struggling with issues, just give them to God and it'll be fine. But Thursday night, there was suddenly this safe zone, this moment when it was OK to be human, to hurt, to struggle, to fail. And the reality came out.

So let's let the camp leaders figure out how to deal with the situation more effectively in the future.  How to be more "appropriate." For the rest of us, we need to learn from this. I hope this lesson reverberates across the movement: WAKE UP!!! Our safe, protected church is not so safe and protected. These were not inner-city ghetto kids. These were our kids, and our kids are in agony. Our kids are dealing with junk they should never have to. And we have not given them the support, the safety, the unconditional acceptance they desperately need.  We will answer to God for the hundreds or thousands of kids whose search for genuine love and acceptance have led them away from us, away from the church, and even away from God. May God forgive us. And may God give us the strength and courage to declare, "Never again." Never again will a young man have to search for a safe zone, because I will provide it. Never again will a young woman have to turn to immorality to feel loved, because I will love her appropriately and unconditionally. Never again will a teenager have to search for honesty, because I will have the courage to be honest. Never again will a victim have to hide his or her pain, because I will help bear it. It's time to wake up, man up, and dare to be the difference!

3.5 types of Christians

I really don't like those "there are two types of people" or "three types of Christians" approaches. They oversimplify things. Just as soon as we have life packaged, sealed, and labelled in tidy little boxes, some new situation bursts the boxes and merrily destroys our carefully-thought-out organization. That being said, I'm going to oversimplify and say that there are 3.5 types of Christians. (Then I'm going to stay well back to avoid flying bits of boxes.)

The first type is the one who claims the title of "Christian" but has no spiritual life of his own. Instead, he has accepted a lifestyle and lives his outward life according to human rules and expectations. Since he lives by fitting in with his surrounding church culture, he can be very hard to recognize. Many people associate this person with extreme conservatism, but the fact is that this approach can be found in any church setting, ranging from extremely conservative to very liberal. The key is that the lifestyle takes the place of a genuine relationship with Christ. This is the ".5" of the 3.5 types of Christians, since this person is not a genuine Christian at all.

The second type of Christian is the one who is saved, and so does have genuine spiritual life. This one, though, simply follows man-made rules without questioning them, so the outward life is strictly contained by these rules. Questioning these rules is often seen as rebellion. This is superior to the first type since there is real spiritual life, and it is possible to develop a strong Christian life with this approach. Often, however, this person will remain weak in personal faith and be unable to give solid scriptural reasons for his beliefs or lifestyle. If and when he begins to question any of these man-made rules, he may go so far as to assume that there is no reality to the Christian life at all.

On the opposite end of the spectrum is the Christian who believes that there should be no specific rules in the Christian life. Everything is reduced to "principle" with no specific applications, and suggesting that the Bible teaches specific requirements for life is seen as legalism. This person's spiritual life may be erratic, lacks direction and focus, and is often based on his emotional state at the moment.

The final type of Christian is the one who bounds and directs his spiritual life by Scripture. He studys the Bible for himself and seeks out others who are able to teach him. He intentionally challenges himself with the demands of Scripture and consistently strives to live up to both biblical principles and commands. His outward life is directed and focused on living out Scripture.

Now, which type are you?