We have often heard
that self-image and self-confidence are just the world's substitute for
trusting God. News flash: it's not true.
Yes, self-confidence
can be misused as a very poor substitute for faith. But there's much more to it
than that. How can a young lady trust God when deep down, she is privately
convinced that she is simply not worth being loved by God or anyone else? What
good does it do to tell a young man to trust God when, in the deepest recesses
of his soul, he senses that he is rejected and valueless? How can I trust God
to take care of me if I'm privately certain that I'm simply not worth being
taken care of?
I don't know if this has been prevalent throughout church history, but it's a real problem in today's church. While I am not a
great fan of a lot of contemporary Christian music, CCM is often more in touch
with the Christian world today than many churches are. They have to be, in
order to write and perform music that resonates with Christians, especially
young Christians. And there is a lot of CCM that talks about struggling with
feelings of worthlessness and being unloved.
There's a girl in
the corner
With tear stains on
her eyes
From the places
she's wandered
And the shame she
can't hide
She says, "How
did I get here?
I'm not who I once
was.
And I'm crippled by
the fear
That I've fallen too
far to love"
Well she tries to
believe it
That she's been
given new life
But she can't shake
the feeling
That it's not true
tonight
She knows all the
answers
And she's rehearsed
all the lines
And so she'll try to
do better
But then she's too
weak to try
from "You Are More" by Tenth
Avenue North
Setting aside the
anecdotes and lyrics, though, is the idea of having a good self-image
Scriptural? The fact is that Scripture warns us repeatedly against taking too
high a view of ourselves. For example, one should not "think more highly
of himself than he ought to" (Rom 12:3); "everyone who is proud in
heart is an abomination to the LORD" (Prov 16:5). And there are many
more such passages. Throughout history, the usual problem has been that
people's self-image has been too inflated.
But there is another
side to it. Romans 12:3 (quoted above) also tells us to "think [of
ourselves] soberly." (The word "soberly" here means
"realistically" or "honestly.") And Hebrews 11:6 says,
"He who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of
those who seek Him." So when a person's self-image makes it difficult to
believe that God would reward them for seeking Him, that is a huge problem
spiritually. I've recently come to realize that often people seeking God during
altar services are struggling with issues related to their self-image.
If the best we have
to offer is some platitude like "get your eyes off yourself and onto
God," the battle is lost before it's begun. We are dealing with very deep
issues here, and they take time. But there are ways to offer real help.
First, encourage the
seeker to trust God in spite of their conviction that they aren't worth His
help. It's hard, but it's possible. And that is where they have to start. God
knows the struggle they are having deep in their soul, and He'll walk them through
it step by step.
Second, work to
create and maintain an atmosphere of acceptance and caring. Because, like it or
not, God uses us. God communicates His love through you and me. That means that
if we want people to experience God's love, we have to show that love in very practical
ways. Frankly, that sounds more difficult - and more touchy-feely - than it is.
- It's just being genuinely connected with one another.
- It's actually listening to people.
- It's caring, and letting others know that you care.
- It's taking time to talk with the kid that no one hangs around.
- It's a text saying "I'm praying for you" to the friend who is going through a rough time.
- It doesn't have to be extensive or time-consuming, but it does have to be consistent and sincere.
Third, realize that
you do not know who is in the middle of this struggle. It could be the shy
withdrawn girl, or it could be the popular guy whom that everyone looks up to.
That means we have to be there for everyone around us. And (surprise, surprise)
that's exactly what Scripture says we should do anyway. It's called
"fellowship," koinonia,
sharing life. And it's how the Christian life is supposed to work every day.
