Is Your Church Safe?

Throughout history, the church has been seen as a place of safety. In Medieval times, the church was a place where fugitives could flee to escape their pursuers. In more modern times, as the surrounding culture has become less and less Christian, holding biblical values and lifestyles has created a conservative sub-culture, a culture which attempts to isolate itself from many of the problems in the world around. Those who struggle with tough issues are sometimes seen as a threat to this culture, and they are encouraged (whether directly or indirectly) to hide their struggles from the church. And thus the church, instead of being a place of acceptance and healing, is seen as a place where one must outwardly conform or face criticism and rejection. So how do we change this perception?

1.     Face the fact that in many churches, this is a reality, not just a perception. You must prayerfully question whether you are part of the problem or part of the solution. Are you willing to truly be a safe person, and to make your church or youth group a safe place?

2.     Address tough issues. In public. From the pulpit. Yes, it may be uncomfortable, and you may get some fallout. But if you wanted a safe, comfortable career, you should have gone into accounting. On the other hand, if you want to make a difference in young people’s lives, then get ready to take some risks.

3.     Be empathetic. Making a crack about gays might get a response, but it also tells that young person in your congregation who is struggling with same-sex attraction that you are not interested in helping him.

4.     Keep confidences. Betraying a confidence demonstrates that you are an unfaithful minister and therefore not qualified to be a pastor (Prov. 11:31; 1 Cor. 4:2). On the other hand, there are times at which you must report what you know to the authorities: familiarize yourself with the mandatory reporting laws of your state or country, as well as the states or countries in which you minister. In these cases, let the young person know what and to whom you must report.

5.     Build relationships. Youth want transparency and authenticity: you’re not perfect, so stop pretending to be. Learn to LISTEN, not just plan what your next pastorly bit of wisdom will be.  And pleasepleaseplease never let the words “Just give it to God” pass your lips. Or any other trite bit of spiritual-sounding nonsense that we throw around so we can feel wise and pastor-ly. An honest “I don’t know” is far better than a mass-produced piece of plastic wisdom.

The good news is that young people—and adults—want and respond to honesty and genuine caring. If you build an environment where it’s OK to struggle and to be imperfect, then you will be in a position where God can truly use you to change lives.

Dealing with Differences

I just got back from a fantastic seminar with Stuart and Jill Briscoe, where I deeply benefitted from the ministry of this godly couple and fellowshipped with Christians from a variety of backgrounds. Which brings up a question: how do we, as believers who hold to conservative doctrine and lifestyle, interact with those who hold different doctrinal or lifestyle stands? I mean, they are obviously and probably intentionally opposing Scripture, aren't they? Or maybe they just aren't as spiritual as we are?

Umm…   [Awkward pause]

The issue became real for me when I was the sole conservative Wesleyan-Arminian attending an interdenominational seminary. There were a number of areas in which I disagreed with my teachers. For example, most if not all of my professors believed and taught that in the New Testament era, Sunday is a day of worship rather than a day of rest, and so there are no biblical restrictions on working on Sunday. In my understanding, the Old Testament restriction on working on the Sabbath is still in effect, since the New Testament never specifically abolishes it (as it does the food laws in Mark 7:19). We cannot both be right, so which of us is following the Bible and which is following man's rules?

Actually, that question is misleading. We are both following the Bible.

But how can that be, when the two views contradict one another?

To answer that, let's step back and look at the issue from a different angle.

Every Bible-believing Christian must start from the same point: absolute surrender to the authority of God's Word. The starting point has to be "I will obey the Bible" rather than "I will obey the Bible when I like what it tells me" or "I will obey the Bible when it says what I think it should." The extent to which we don't submit to Scripture is the same extent to which we are living by man's rules. (Living by your own rules is still living by man's rules, BTW. Assuming, of course, that you are human.)

When we are committed to living by Scripture, things get more interesting: we have to interpret what Scripture means. I don't mean that we try to find some strange or hidden meaning, but that we do our best to understand what it means and how it applies to me. This is where the differences come in, because we bring to Scripture our own unique viewpoints, emphases, theological backgrounds, and spiritual understanding. And we are influenced by the viewpoints, emphases, theology, and spiritual understanding of our friends, mentors, teachers, and pastors. So one who honestly believes that the Bible OK's Sunday work will be open to working on Sunday, while another who believes that the Bible restricts Sunday work will not. Both, though, are following the Bible to the best of their understanding. And the same thing applies to a wide range of life issues and theology.

So what's the right response? Wash our hands of the whole thing and say "Just do whatever you think you should. It's between you and God anyway"? That's a common response, but it's a cop-out. The underlying assumption of this view is that one interpretation is just as good as another, which suggests that no one really knows what the Bible means.

Or do we retreat back into our theological tradition? After all, if we are right, then everyone else has to be wrong, don't they? And who are we to disagree with [fill in the name of your favorite old-time saint]? But again, this response is a cop-out. It ignores the human (and therefore fallible) part of Bible interpretation. Whenever we take one interpretation as the ultimate interpretation that must never be questioned, we thereby exalt the human interpreter over God's Word. Which explains why this approach tends to ignore whatever bits of Scripture don't seem to fit its particular viewpoint.

So what do we do? The biblical answer is:

1. Be sure of your own interpretation.

How do you do this? First, pray for the Spirit's leadership. But recognize that the Spirit usually works through human means, so engage the best Bible teachers that you have access to. Actually listen in church (what a concept!). Find and read good books, like commentaries or devotional works. Not just the easy reads that make you feel good. Dig into the books that make you think about Scripture. Learn to love expositional preaching--the preaching that really explores and explains the Bible. Examine everything in the light of Scripture. Wrestle with the hard passages. Study until you are certain before God as to what Scripture teaches. And bathe the whole process in prayer. Paul's exhortation to the Romans concerning eating meat also applies to all of the Christian life: "Let every man be fully convinced in his own mind."

Sounds like work, doesn't it? Yep, it is. Anything worth doing takes work. Get used to it.

2. Follow Scripture wholeheartedly.

You'll find that there are multiple interpretations on almost every issue. Once you've realized that, the temptation is to just adopt the easiest interpretation, the interpretation that requires the least commitment, effort, or change. But that's not following Scripture--that’s using Scripture as an excuse to do what you want. What you must do is to study until you are as certain as you can be as to what the Bible teaches, then follow it. If it requires change, then change. If it means holding to what you already believe, get a bulldog grip on it and don't let go. First, last, and always, follow Scripture.

3. Proclaim Scripture boldly.

Jesus commanded us to go and teach all nations; Paul instructed Timothy (and us!) to preach the Word; Peter says that he who speaks must speak the words of God.  What we proclaim is not a fearful "Maybe this is what it means," but a bold "Thus saith the Lord!" We can boldly proclaim truth only after we have carefully, prayerfully come to understand Scripture.

4. Leave others to God.

Yet what we preach is, in fact, an interpretation of Scripture. A human act, fraught with human fallibility. Since I am human, it is certain that my understanding is wrong in some areas. So the boldness of proclamation must be wedded with personal humility. It is my job to proclaim (my best undestanding of) truth and to present convincing evidence for it. But it is not my job to try to enforce my interpretation or to unchristianize those whose own study leads them to disagree with me.

So what we do is to examine everything--including our own beliefs--by Scripture. We pray and depend on the Spirit to illuminate our understanding. We study. We preach, teach, and live the Bible according to our best understanding. We hold to what is biblical while rejecting what is unbiblical. At the same time, we understand that others will interpret Scripture differently, and we leave them with God. I will answer to God for how diligently I have studied, proclaimed, and followed Scripture. You will do the same. I'm enough for me to worry about. How about you?

Thursday Night

This past Thursday night was a life-changer. For me, and for a lot of other people. We were at Carolina Christian Youth Camp, and just before the service closed on Thursday evening, one of the adults gave the most honest and transparent testimony I have ever heard. He stood before about 200 people--most teenagers--and told of his struggle with pornography. He explained how he'd gotten involved with it, how he'd had to leave a ministry position because of it, and how he still had to deal with the effects and guard himself against the temptation. He ended by proclaiming "I'm not going to do it!" and asked those who would join him in that resolution regarding their own struggles to stand. One by one, young people began to stand and testify, many confessing their own weaknesses and failings. Some told of their own addiction to pornography. Some told of their struggles with bitterness over abusive fathers. Many simply stood and wept. Soon there were 70 or 80 young people at the front of the church, weeping out their brokenness before God. And the testimonies continued: struggles with addictions and cutting; anger at God for the death of family members; bitterness over physical and emotional abuse; the anguish of rape and molestation;  hopelessness, fear, rage, pain. The expression of agony was matched by an outpouring of grace: love, acceptance, shared tears, embraces, requests for  forgiveness. The whole thing was unexpected, messy, raw, uncontrolled, inappropriate… and amazing.

So now we're trying to get our heads around what happened. This blog post is part of my attempt to do just that. It's really easy to point out that it should have been handled differently, and it probably should. Much of what was shared would have been more appropriate in a smaller, gender-specific setting. There should have been an organized way of following up with the young people. There should have been counselors available to deal with the issues. There should have been lots of things. I suspect that there won't be any shortage of people saying this and more, and they have some good points. In the future I'm sure the camp leaders will be more prepared. I spent a few hours with them the next day, I listened to their hearts, and they are concerned with how to improve. How to be more effective and appropriate. But frankly, they are more concerned with helping young people than with maintaining their image. And I sure can't fault that.

In other words, I cannot blame the camp leaders for what happened.  For decades, the church--and not just the CHM--has created an atmosphere in which certain things are NOT to be discussed. The youth retreats, camps, and Youth Challenges that I have attended have pretty consistently done a presentation on sex, and the message is, "Don't do it." But I have never heard anyone talk about how to deal with addictions, what to do about being molested, where to turn if you're struggling with homosexuality, how to cope with pain so incredible that it overwhelms your entire life. We don't want to acknowledge that these things happen in our churches and homes, and so these topics are taboo. Off limits. And Thursday night, that taboo was shattered. It was messy, unorganized, and inappropriate. But if there is blame, the majority of it has to go to the churches and families that have created the taboo. We have not allowed our young people to openly deal with the garbage that has been dumped on them. We have given the impression, if not actually taught, that the important thing is to be "a good kid," and if you're struggling with issues, just give them to God and it'll be fine. But Thursday night, there was suddenly this safe zone, this moment when it was OK to be human, to hurt, to struggle, to fail. And the reality came out.

So let's let the camp leaders figure out how to deal with the situation more effectively in the future.  How to be more "appropriate." For the rest of us, we need to learn from this. I hope this lesson reverberates across the movement: WAKE UP!!! Our safe, protected church is not so safe and protected. These were not inner-city ghetto kids. These were our kids, and our kids are in agony. Our kids are dealing with junk they should never have to. And we have not given them the support, the safety, the unconditional acceptance they desperately need.  We will answer to God for the hundreds or thousands of kids whose search for genuine love and acceptance have led them away from us, away from the church, and even away from God. May God forgive us. And may God give us the strength and courage to declare, "Never again." Never again will a young man have to search for a safe zone, because I will provide it. Never again will a young woman have to turn to immorality to feel loved, because I will love her appropriately and unconditionally. Never again will a teenager have to search for honesty, because I will have the courage to be honest. Never again will a victim have to hide his or her pain, because I will help bear it. It's time to wake up, man up, and dare to be the difference!

3.5 types of Christians

I really don't like those "there are two types of people" or "three types of Christians" approaches. They oversimplify things. Just as soon as we have life packaged, sealed, and labelled in tidy little boxes, some new situation bursts the boxes and merrily destroys our carefully-thought-out organization. That being said, I'm going to oversimplify and say that there are 3.5 types of Christians. (Then I'm going to stay well back to avoid flying bits of boxes.)

The first type is the one who claims the title of "Christian" but has no spiritual life of his own. Instead, he has accepted a lifestyle and lives his outward life according to human rules and expectations. Since he lives by fitting in with his surrounding church culture, he can be very hard to recognize. Many people associate this person with extreme conservatism, but the fact is that this approach can be found in any church setting, ranging from extremely conservative to very liberal. The key is that the lifestyle takes the place of a genuine relationship with Christ. This is the ".5" of the 3.5 types of Christians, since this person is not a genuine Christian at all.

The second type of Christian is the one who is saved, and so does have genuine spiritual life. This one, though, simply follows man-made rules without questioning them, so the outward life is strictly contained by these rules. Questioning these rules is often seen as rebellion. This is superior to the first type since there is real spiritual life, and it is possible to develop a strong Christian life with this approach. Often, however, this person will remain weak in personal faith and be unable to give solid scriptural reasons for his beliefs or lifestyle. If and when he begins to question any of these man-made rules, he may go so far as to assume that there is no reality to the Christian life at all.

On the opposite end of the spectrum is the Christian who believes that there should be no specific rules in the Christian life. Everything is reduced to "principle" with no specific applications, and suggesting that the Bible teaches specific requirements for life is seen as legalism. This person's spiritual life may be erratic, lacks direction and focus, and is often based on his emotional state at the moment.

The final type of Christian is the one who bounds and directs his spiritual life by Scripture. He studys the Bible for himself and seeks out others who are able to teach him. He intentionally challenges himself with the demands of Scripture and consistently strives to live up to both biblical principles and commands. His outward life is directed and focused on living out Scripture.

Now, which type are you?

Not a prisoner of culture

"From before he is born until after he is dead man is a prisoner of his culture"

      - Horton and Hunt, sociologists

Nope. I won't do it. I refuse to be a prisoner of my culture just because a couple of really intelligent guys say I have to.

My culture tells me that success is a large bank account, a big house, and the best car.  My culture tells me that I should be wealthy, good-looking, athletic, intelligent, articulate, suave, and confident. My culture tells me that I must never claim to have the truth, but rather I must accept all religious beliefs as equally valid (excpt, of course, the ideas of sin or punishment).

My culture is seriously confused. And I will not be in bondage to it.

The reality is that, like everyone else, I am immersed in my culture. It leaves its permanent imprint on me. But that does not mean that I am its prisoner. Refusing to be a prisoner of culture means that I am free to base my life on something greater than my culture, greater than all of history, greater than time itself. I am free to base life, my goals, my choices on the Word of God. In fact, the way not to be a prisoner of my culture is to purposely dedicate myself to living out the timeless principles and commands in Scripture.

Freedom from culture doesn't mean that I ignore cultural norms and expectations. It means that I take the principles of God's word and live them out within my culture. For example, I choose wholesome entertainment (which puts me way out of step with most of the film and music industries). I choose modest clothing, and I respect others by looking another direction when those around me are immodest. Most important, I boldly proclaim Christ as the only way to God.

Does this sound like bondage? I assure you, it's not. It's freedom. I live just as I choose--and I choose to live as God directs. It would certainly be easier to allow the surrounding culture to dictate my personal standards, but that would not be freedom. Freedom is rarely the easy path: it requires dedication, perseverence, and the courage to be different. But be certain of this: freedom is worth it. Freedom to be all that I can be, not just what the culture tells me I should be. Freedom to live up to the mind-boggling potential that God has given all of us in Christ.